it's all just raging disappointment

[slow_burn]

Aiden wasn't seen for the rest of the session.

It was a few hours later he was finally released from the room in the house that was basically just a room with a lock on the outside, a quiet room of sorts. It might as well had been Aiden's second home.

He didn't kick the door or bang his head against the wall this time, though. Instead, he thought. And waited.

It was night when Aiden found her, gently knocking on her room. They had a lot more freedom here than they did a hospital, that was for sure--no nurses patrolling, anyway.

"Hey," He's opened the door somewhat ajar, peaking his head in but not looking directly at the bed (it's the same setup for all of them). Tracy's asleep, anyway. "Heather. Get up, I want to show you something."

Comments

[slow_burn]

"No," Aiden's still ontop of her, still clutching her but he slowly draws back, brown hair tickling her face as he leans in. "I'm alive."

Because to Aiden, there's a fundamental difference. There's a rational reason for the way he acts--even when he violently slams his head against a wall or picks a fight with someone much bigger than him. Even if he plays baseball and swings the bat at someone's head. Even if he has a knife, and he's ontop of his mother, and all he can hear is screaming screaming screaming and then a sick gurgle as the knife pierces through her windpipe, as her head lolls to the side as lifeless as his sister.

Aiden leans forward and kisses Heather, slow and soft and surprisingly sweet.

[sweetmotherofgod]

He is. Right now, she thinks he might be the most alive person she's ever met. He's the kind of bright that ends with burning out, she knows that -- hell, she just told her as much -- but he's warm and close and alive and she's had too much of death.

She doesn't stop shaking, but she does kiss him back.

[slow_burn]

Aiden takes his time--he's slow, he's patient--and he knows he smells like cigarettes and marijuana, though Heather tastes of corrupted innocence. It's beautiful, really. She's beautiful.

And all Aiden can think of is the screams of his mother, wondering if Heather sounds exactly the same.

When he pulls away he touches her bottom limb with his thumb, gently--his own is split but he didn't seem to even acknowledge the pain from Mike earlier--and the lazy smile turns into a smirk.

"You're on my side, right, Heather?"

[sweetmotherofgod]

The gentle way he handles her is at odds with the sharp and bitter taste of him, the things he's being saying. The things he's been doing. So when he breaks the kiss and thumbs at her lip she watches the way his mouth curves into something hard, the way his eyes go from sleepy and soft to something else entirely, and she curls her arms around herself.

"Aiden." She shakes her head, not a no but an I can't believe this. Her voice is quiet. "I don't even know what your side is yet."

She bites her lip, a press of teeth where the pad of his thumb has been.

"I'm not on the other side."

[slow_burn]

Aiden's smile widens as he gets up and offers a hand, nodding. She'll stay. He likes her.

"My side's interesting, that's all. You'll like it." He nods to himself, slinking down to move to the window once more.

"But we need to get back in or the nurse whatsherbitch is gonna check the rooms and find we're gone."

[sweetmotherofgod]

Right. He's been here a while, he knows the patterns, the routine.

"So what's the penalty for getting caught out of bed? I think they're trying to ease me in. Told me what I can't do, but not what happens if I get caught doing it."

Somehow Heather has the feeling that Aiden's experienced most of those firsthand.

[slow_burn]

"Depends. You just missed Ian--he had a thing for pretty girls. He caught any of the chicks doing something bad he'd fuck 'em as punishment. Liked to kick the shit out of Mike, though." As if that somehow made it better. He shrugs, pushing long bangs out of his face.

"Most of the time it's just the quiet room, though. Don't feel like going back, just spend all day there."

[sweetmotherofgod]

Her stomach clenches as he talks, both for the idea and the casual, careless way he relates it. The only attempt to put her in a foster home had ended with hurried explanations of misunderstandings to do with sleepwalking and really there were no hard feelings about the broken nose but maybe she'd be better off elsewhere, and the idea of being someplace where the default was probably to assume the girl involved was a fucked up little liar makes her feel sick.

But he's gone -- Aiden says he's gone, so she's safe -- and she sets her shoulders in bravado to hide it away.

"So let's not get caught."

[slow_burn]

"Hey." Aiden's mouth has curled into a lazy smile, grabbing her by the hip and ushering her to walk with him, back to her room. Back to where she has to pretend to be normal and recovering.

"There's a lot of fucked up shit in this world and you and me? We've got the worst of it." It's flat-out, spoken so casually but Aiden means it--he sincerely means it. "Anyone lays a hand on you and you don't want it, I'm killing."

[sweetmotherofgod]

The sudden touch is enough to make Heather tense up, and she has to make a conscious effort to pull herself out of the defensive thought pattern she's found herself in. Aiden's showing her around, trying to help her. Aiden wants her on his side. She doesn't need to worry.

Aiden dangled me off a roof, the rational part of her says, and the part of her that knows she's something dark and wrong and wonders why her father failed to strangle her all those years ago answers Aiden didn't let me fall.

"I can handle myself," she says, pitching her voice low and quiet in the unfriendly hallways. "But thanks."

[slow_burn]

"Mmmm-hmmm." It's not patronizing--Aiden knows she can handle herself. It's why he's drawn to her. As much as she pretends to be a zombie she's just as fiery and volatile as he is.

"Hey." He's stopped in front of her, leaning in. Not quite trapping her, but his hands still on her hip and he's leaning close, close, close. So close. "Let's make a deal."

[sweetmotherofgod]

Heather stills. Doesn't lean back like she should, doesn't lean in like she thinks she might want to. Just stills under his hands, eyes flicking from his eyes to his mouth and back again as she wets her lips.

"What kind of deal?"

She's whispering now, as much for his proximity as the desire not to get caught. Close as he is, she's not worried he won't hear.

[slow_burn]

"I show you the ropes..." Aiden's slow blink is back, running a hand over her cheek. "...And if I need help with something, you at least consider it, huh? An eye for an eye, that sorta thing."

[sweetmotherofgod]

"I'd-" I'd do that anyway, she's about to say, but suddenly it doesn't seem like a good idea. She's thinking of bargaining again, the price of people's help. Better to make it official, call it a deal.

An eye for an eye. He makes it sound so sinister. But he's got a taste for drama, she thinks. For gestures and show.

"Yeah. Yeah, okay. Deal."

[slow_burn]

"Deal, then." He leans in, kisses her on the lips and brushes a hand across her face again.

"I'd say you're pretty when you smile, but you're not going to do it often, anyway. So I guess I'll just thank you for being as fucked-up as I am."